Week 6...Light at the end of the Tunnel?

Things are looking up. It's the middle of week 6 and not only has my skin been better all week than since before I started accutane, but I've stopped focusing on it so much cause really, what's another breakout?

Changes to my Skin
The first few days of my new dosage was rough. My skin broke out about 2 or 3 days into the new dosage, and my left cheek was covered with small pustules. But it only lasted about 2-3 days and is still soft and smooth in the non-broken out places. I'm starting to notice ALOT of hyperpigmentation on my cheeks from all the breakouts over the last few weeks, but instead of being dark spots, they're lighter. Interesting, I've never had that before...pretty easy to cover up with foundation but I wonder what will happen with those spots long term...will they turn darker over time? Will they blend with my natural skin color? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Side Effects
Depression
After the first 3 days of my new dose, I was really depressed for a day or two. One evening, I literally started crying on the phone to a friend about nothing. I was devestated...about nothing at all. At the time, I felt overwhelmed by all the medications I have to take throughout the day (antibiotic with breakfast, Acc at lunch and dinner, birth control before bed) and frustrated that I was continuing to break out. At the same time, I was fully conscious of the fact that I WASN'T really that upset about those things...it was weird. But I just let it out and rested and haven't felt bad since. It doesn't feel like it will be a regular thing.

Nausea
For the first few days, I was nauseous, like, alot. I dont know if it was the do with the accutane dosage or the antibiotic, but it was annoying. it's stopped.

Dry Lips
Okay...my lips have reached a whole new level of dry and crusty. I have been putting Aquaphor on every 10 minutes. If I don't there will be hell to pay. I haven't had any cracking and bleeding, but the corners of my mouth are just...crusty. Aquaphor is my bff.

Sensitive/Dry Skin
My skin has gotten so sensitive, all over my body. I have random cuts and scrapes on my arms and legs that came from...lawd knows where! It seems that a simple scratch or brush-up against something results in broken skin, and I don't notice until it's a scab. Also, I did that thing to my other ear where I rubbed too hard and caused a rug burn...OUCH. My skin is REALLY sensitive and I probably have to face the fact that there is some level of bruising that I'm going to have to deal with. I'm definitely trying to be careful with myself. My skin is also dry, nothing major but it's acting like it's winter even though its August in Atlanta! I use cream every morning and night, which is usually unheard of at this time of year, but it's making my skin SUPER soft and amazing!

Body Aches
My back is still significantly sore, but now my joints hurt too. Mainly my hips and knees. My posture is awful, you can find my hunched over in the corner looking crazy. It doesn't help that I recently started training for a 5k, so after I run it's particularly bad. Nothing I can't deal with - sometimes I look like an old lady hob-nobbin down the street - but I haven't taken any painkillers.

I would just like to take a moment to big-up the products I have been using, cause I really love them. #1 on my list is Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream. I actually got the name brand so I can't speak on the generics. But, I use it at night on my face and all over my body night and day. My skin...is so...soft! It's like chocolate-brown silk. It would normally be way too heavy for the summer, but probably perfect for winter skin. I highly recommend it. Also, Olay Complete Moisturizer with SPF 15 for Sensitive Skin is the truth. I use it during the day and it's not greasy like a lot of other moisturizers with SPF. It's light and creamy and I really like it. I always associated Olay with old ladies and wrinkle remedies, but this one is perfect for me. And clearly, Aquaphor is the best thing since sliced bread. I may just use it forever, albeit less often after this treatment is over.

Here are some photos. The blemishes on my cheeks aren't quite as bad as they look in this photo, the lighting is pretty un-flattering. But everything you see is in its healing phase. The last photo shows the remaining flakiness on my nose.






And these are my dry ass lips after not using Aquaphor for about 30 mins! unbelievable!



UPDATE: I took a few pics midweek cause I started to break out BAD. It wasn't as bad as my WBB phase during the first month, but I definitely had several gross looking pustules.

Week 5...Bring it On!

My skin is still a roller coaster with new things happening every few days. Earlier this week, my skin was clearer than it has been since before I started Accutane - I only had a few small bumps along my jawline and most of the flakiness was gone. My skin was smooth and normal (as opposed to being oily) and I started feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, confident that everything would just get better and better from here on out. Well, today I broke out again. My left cheek is covered with about a dozen small bumps and the two medium-sized bumps on my right cheek got bigger over night. But, I am noticing that these bumps are smaller (yet still whiteheads/pustules) than before and my skin is otherwise not at all oily and actually very soft. Also, with the exception of a very small area on the corner of my nose, much of the flakiness is gone and those areas are especially soft...I guess all the dried oil finally pushed itself out in those places. Still some flakiness on my cheeks, but at least things are working. I guess this is why people have such a hard time with Accutane - every time you think the breakouts are over, they come right back.

So, yesterday I went back to my dermatologist for my 2nd month prescription. I have to say, my Derm is an arrogant prick. He insists that he was one of the 1st and only Derms prescribing Accutane 20 years ago, and therefore created the shit. He was adamant that I wouldn't have a WBB phase (which, clearly I did) and when I told him about my roller coaster of a 1st month, he said it was highly uncommon for people to break out at the beginning when they start at a lower dose and increase later, and that my case was unusual. UM...huh? Everything that I have EVER heard or read pretty much tells you to brace yourself for the worst breakout of your life regardless of whether you start small; it's a strong medication with serious effects. I get the impression he likes to lie to his (probably mostly teenage) patients so that they stay positive and don't get discouraged and drop the treatment, so he can get whatever little subsidy he probably receives for turning the masses onto this overpriced drug. But why lie to a grown ass woman? Anyway, I couldn't care less - I am well-educated about this entire process and really only need him to sign the prescription slip, okaaay?

So during my visit, they did a urine pregnancy test (negative) and did blood work (called me today to let me know everything is fine). We talked about my skin and he increased my dose from 40mg to 80mg, which is a full dose for my weight. I also told him that I've not only been breaking out, but the large majority of my pimples are large, inflamed pustules. So he also prescribed me an antibiotic that I will take for the entire 2nd month to suppress the bacteria and prevent so many pimples during the WBB phase. I wish he had done that from jump, but I understand why he would prefer to wait until patients have issues because over-prescribing antibiotics is actually an issue in this country. Neither iPledge nor my insurance gave me any issues and I filled my prescriptions last night without issues, $15 for the Clarivis and $25 for the antibiotic.

Changes to my Skin
Like I said, my skin is not oily anymore, some flakiness on my cheeks, and small whiteheads along my jawline and cheeks.

Side Effects
Dry Lips
Yep, still dry. Easily controlled with Aquaphor and drinking lots of water. I've started lightly brushing them with my toothbrush in the morning to get rid of any peeling. I expect them to shrivel up like a prune with this increased dose, but we'll see.

Dry/Sensitive Skin
My scalp has still been flaky. I washed my locs last night and my scalp is also sensitive. I have never been "tender-headed" but now I know the feeling. I used leave-in conditioner, which I don't usually do, in addition to some oils and aloe vera gel to moisturize my locs. I plan to oil my scalp every 5 or so days to keep the flakiness at bay. I've noticed my skin is VERY sensitive on other parts of my body. If I scratch somewhere, it is very easy to scratch too hard and break my skin. For example, I have a mild case of eczema in the opening of my ear...I got carried away the other day rubbing my ear lobe and left what looked like a rope burn on my ear...it hurt, scabbed over, and healed very quickly...but still! =/ Same thing with my nose - I got tired of the flakiness and started scratching the flakes off with my fingernail, leaving myself with a scabbed over bruise the next day! I really have to be more careful with myself.

Backache
This just started two days ago. My lower back is kinda killing me. I hesitate to say "killing" cause it's not thaaat severe, but it is very sore. At first it was only at night and I had to curl in fetal position for a few minutes until it went away. But yesterday and today, it's been all day. It forces my posture to be even worse than usual and really just doesn't feel good. I hope it doesn't get much worse...

Blurry Vision?
I'm not quite sure whether I have slightly blurry vision when reading or staring too hard at a computer screen. I have fluorescent lighting in my office and sometimes it feels like I have a hard time focusing my eyesight. However, I do stare at a computer screen all day in a tiny office the size of a closet with no windows, so it might just be nature telling me I need some fresh air...but it's something I'm going to watch out for.

That's about it. My camera died this week and it took days for me to remember to get batteries for it so...no photos this week :( I'm sorry, and pretty mad at myself for slippin' but stay tuned for next week :)

Week 4

It's the beginning of week 4 and I'm definitely seeing improvements since last week. I'm still slightly dizzy from the roller coaster ride of last week - I can honestly say that was THE worst breakout of my adult life! I had huge, inflamed pustules on every part of my face. Each day I had new ones and each day old ones healed. I had no idea if or when it would end and, of course, since I was so focused on my skin all week it felt like forever. But, by the end of the week, I stopped getting new huge pustules and could not resist "helping along" the persistent ones I did have by gently popping them. They each scabbed over and seem to be healing - hopefully, they don't result in scarring but honestly I would rather have a few scars that take a few months to diminish rather than huge, infected, ugly pustules everywhere!

So as for this week:
Changes to my Skin
My skin has started to improve. I would say it is similar to right before I started Accutane. I have a few small blemishes on my left cheek, forehead, and along my jawline. One of the huge pustules that was on my right cheek last week is still healing and looks kind of like a flat scabbed-over bump. My skin is also not oily anymore...such a weird feeling! It's 95 degrees everyday and humid, but I don't need to blot my face or get really shiny. I'm still having some flakes on my chin and the corners of my nose, but I'll keep using the scrub once a week and drinking a lot of water has probably helped. I felt so great this weekend hanging out with new friends and being out and about - it was the first time in 2 weeks that I didn't feel totally horrible about my skin!

Side Effects
I haven't experienced many side effects this week.

Dry Lips
My lips are still dry, but not nearly as dry as during past weeks. I can tell that the more water I drink, the less dry they are, so I've been all about my Nalgene bottle every day.

Dry/itchy scalp
My scalp is still mildly dry and itchy, but not as bad as past weeks. My locs also seem a little fuzzier at the root, but that might also be because I've started exercising more regularly. I'm oiling my scalp and hair every few days and it's no biggie.

I'm really happy that most of the side effects have subsided and it seems that (*knock on wood*) the WBB phase is slowing down. My dosage will increase from 40mg to 80 mg next week when I start my second month...I'm nervous about whether I will have another WBB phase with this increase, or if my body is used to the medicine enough to deal with the increase. I've heard that most people have another flare up, but not as bad as the first one...I'm crossing my fingers that it's just up hill from here!

Week 3 = Frustration, Embarassment.

It's almost week 3 (day 14) and my face is a mess. I think it's misleading when people call this period the "initial breakout"...it makes it sound like it comes and goes in a few days. No. For me at least, I can tell I'm going to continue to break out for the next few weeks. From now on, I'm calling it the "worse-before-better" phase, or WBB. But the pimples keep on coming and going so it seems that I'm moving through this phase at an okay pace.

Changes to my Skin
My skin has continued to breakout just as it was last week. Most days I wake up with one or two new pustules/white heads, my least favorite kind of pimple because they're so hard (if not impossible) to camouflage or ignore. Sometimes I even acquire a new blemish or two throughout the day. They tend to come to a head within hours, pop within a day when I wash my face, scab over, and stay inactive flat bumps for days and days. They also hurt and itch A LOT, especially along my jawline. My breakouts seem to be moving around my face, one section at a time. Although I have bumps everywhere, the major ones started out on my right cheek/jawline, then those started to heal and I got a bunch on my left cheek/jawline, then those started to heal and they returned to my right cheek/jawline, now my forehead is the most outrageous. I guess I can be happy that my entire face isn't breaking out all at once, but it is really frustrating and embarrassing to face the world looking like this - especially since it's summer and there's so much going on =/

My skin seems a little less oily over the last few days, but still appears shiny a lot of the time. I'm switching to Olay Complete Sensitive Skin Moisturizer with SPF 15, cause I think the Neutrogena lotion I've been using makes me look greasy. I have started to have flakiness on my chin, corners of my mouth and nose, and on the bridge of my nose. When you look closely, you can see that's it's not peeling, it's each and every pore expelling a single flake of oil! Ew. Moisturizer doesn't help. It looks like one of those old school plastic travel brushes that pops in and out! I've continued to wear a small amount of foundation and some concealer most days, but it's starting to not look so hot with all the shit going on. Hopefully I can stay patient and keep my head up as my skin pushes out all the gunk in the next few weeks...

Side Effects
Most of the side effects I spoke of last week are gone. But this is what I'm experiencing this week:

Dry Ass Lips
The dry ass lips continue. I'm still using Aquaphor constantly and my lips have remained smooth and supple, thank you very much! Not a crack or peel in sight. If I get caught up in something and don't put it on for even 30 minutes, they start feeling like straight up crocodile skin. But I've stayed on top of it.

"The itchies"
I have experienced what I call "the itchies." I'll feel like my scalp itches, then my arm, then my side, then my leg, etc. and I can never pinpoint the exact itch or relieve it. Makes you feel like a damn crack head! But I don't get it a lot, so it hasn't been a big deal. My scalp also continues to be mildly itchy.

Dry eyes
My eyes still get mildly dry and itchy, especially when I shower. I don't know why that is...but I've gotten in the habit of putting in eye drops in the morning, night, and maybe once during the day.

Dry Mouth/Thirst
Still drinking as much water as I can. I can tell when I don't get enough my lips feel drier. But it hasn't been hard to drink a lot since I'm always slightly thirsty.

Sensitive skin
The skin where the flaking is feels sensitive and sometimes burns when I wash my face (with the gentlest face wash available, mind you lol). It feels like sunburn. I've started to concentrate on those areas less when I wash my face, but it does hurt a little.

Once again, I have to thank my blackgirl-ness! A lot of people complain of redness/flushing during Accutane. I have a feeling that if I had fair skin, the sensitive areas around my mouth and nose would look irritated and red...but they're not! Just flaky, which is more than enough for me. Plus, I was out in the sun yesterday and it didn't seem to bother my skin at all :) So thank you, chocolate brown skin, for helping me out just a little!

Day 14 (the last photo shows the flakiness...EW)







UPDATE: I couldn't stand the flakiness on my chin and nose, so I went out and bought some gentle exfoliating face wash by Olay. I used it last night and liked it. It has round microbeads that are very gentle so they don't create irritating micro-tears like St. Ives Apricot scrub. I was very gentle when massaging it into my face and concentrated on the flaky areas. It didn't burn or irritate my skin at all. It didn't get rid of all the flakes, but it definitely helped. I also broke down and popped the huge pustules on my cheeks (I did it the "right" way with a hot washcloth, sterilized pin, and verrry gentle pressure, followed by some neosporin) so those are healing and look better. I'm starting to realize that even though I have a bunch of larger bumps, the rest of my skin is starting to look really healthy and nice. Maybe I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...?

Another UPDATE: My skin has been so up and down every day that I decided to take a few pics mid-week to show a particularly bad day. Remember, each of these bumps HURTS, itches, and is way uglier in person they they appear on screen.






and a particularly wonderful spot under my eyes...praying that my entire face is like this when this is over!